Tying Tempest

Reese Gabriel came highly recommended to me by another author of this genre. At this time, I would like to ask that author to please recommend a specific book next time. Unfamiliar with his work, I chose his most recent release, and I can tell you this much: my panties were dry from start to finish.

I have a number of complaints about this novel, and, to illustrate these, I have to mention details. So please consider this a SPOILER WARNING. If you don't like that kind of thing, skip the review.

Oh, and before I start, Ellora's Cave should get in the habit of putting covers together that actually reflect something from the book. Is that an alien concept? Take a look at the last book I reviewed (The Claiming of Kitten) and you'll see a good example of getting what you see on the cover.

Not so, in this case. Take a look at that picture. Is it me, or is that a whip in his hand? And she's tied to a chair, wearing something you'd expect to see on Laura Ingalls. I don't recall mention of a whip in this book. I don't recall the woman tied to a chair, either.

Granted, I did skim quite a bit (I told you guys I get bored easily) so maybe it's in there somewhere.

Let's get to the grit!

Our heroine is Tempest Tyler. Anal retentive, 30-something woman working as an architect. One would assume a 30-something anal retentive architect would both want, and be able, to afford living alone. But, for some reason, this one has a 24-year-old roommate. I found this strange. But, whatever.

Our hero is Aiden Phillips. A BDSM loving sculptor who is well-off and has a body so perfect it's featured in men's mags. He's the kind of man women through themselves at. Unfortunately, he has trouble meeting women who like both BDSM and art. So he crafts a plan to create some kinky art and find a cultured art admirer who likes it.

My first thought there, was, isn't that a little insulting to the BDSM community, to suggest they aren't evolved enough to like art? No, the author doesn't say this. But when you say you have no trouble finding chicks who sympathize with your kink - but can't find anyone who sympathizes with your kink and actually *likes* art...

Maybe I'm being over analytical. I leave you to decide for yourself.

As you may have guessed, these two meet in a gallery. Tempest is completely vanilla at this point. She has zero BDSM experience. ZERO. Yet she's drawn to this statue of people being all kinky-like. Aiden can tell she's liking what she sees, so he swoops in to hit on her, while simultaneously trying to explain what BDSM is to her. It doesn't go so well and they part with him leaving her his business card.

Tempest goes home, has a conversation with her uber nosy roommate. By the way, have I mentioned this girl (roommate) is gorgeous and every man on earth lusts for her? And, that, while Tempest is lovely, she pales in comparison? Sorry, but I don't like that bit. Why the hell is this roommate chick so hot? I don't understand the point. Am I supposed to believe that even though Aiden notices her stunning beauty a million times, he can only think of this regular Jane he met once, for 10 minutes?

Yeah, right.

Sure, this dude could be hot for mama. But don't tell me he's not also hot for the other one. Especially when he spends enough time looking at her ass to mention it in his thoughts. But I'm getting ahead of myself there.

Let's talk about sex.

The first time they get it on, he tells her they "need" protection. Ok, some people want to see this. Personally, I don't. It's a book. While I advocate safe-sex, I read books about sex because the pressures of a modern sex life don't apply in fantasy. However, I don't fault an author for including it.

What bothered me about this, was that when they had sex (several times in the same basic episode) they didn't use one every time, and he even comes inside of her at one point. WTF was the point of having to have one the first time?

And, one of those times, he fucks her with a hairbrush. A hairbrush? Let's hope it wasn't one of those wavy-square shaped ones. Ouch.

My main problem with the book is that Aiden wasn't very manly for most of it. Indeed, he didn't turn Dom-like until about page 95. Oh, he already went Dom on her ass before that - but, like I said, dry panties. To give credit, however, pages 95 and 96 almost got me wet.

I noticed a few things which seemed inconsistent to me, as well. For example, after a fight, he goes to her office to talk to her. In his POV we see his intention was ONLY to have coffee with her and discuss the situation. Things don't go as planned and shortly thereafter they leave, heading for his car.

Where he proceeds to order her to remove/use a dildo and pair of handcuffs from his glovebox.

My question? If this was only supposed to be coffee - does that mean this guy carries this shit around with him everywhere he goes? And, if so, I hope he cleaned this stuff before Tempest used it!

But wait! It gets better.

Less than 24 hours after Ms. Tempest experiences BDSM for the fist time, he drives her to some naughty inn where his mates (a BDSM-loving couple) dress her up in a nice tart-like negligee. Then they watch as she gives Aiden a blowjob in front of them. And then some.

I'm sorry, as someone who lives the BDSM lifestyle, I found this extremely unrealistic, given her obvious inexperience and obvious personality. Eventually? Ok, maybe. Straight away? Ok.. MAYBE. But no matter what, what a dick of a Dom to even put her to the test so quickly. We are talking a total novice here, for God's sake! In private, yes. In public? Someone slap that guy for even thinking it.

On the other hand, this same novice does proclaim her love insanely fast, so maybe she's just weird like that. Of course, they have a fight, split up and he has to make it up to her. The ending was sweet, but one could see it coming. No pun intended.

Let me be honest. While Gabriel appears to be a very good writer, I just didn't find this story very satisfying. I was repeatedly yanked out of the scenes by the things I've mentioned. Difficult to read a book when you can't stop asking yourself why an author wrote this or that.

Bambi says: 3 stars

The Claiming of Kitten

Isabella Snow is one hawt writer of erotic romance. Wait, let me rephrase. Make that kidnap-and-ravish-me-senseless erotic romance. The woman is a dirty minded mare, and I love her for it! I bought the book because of the cover. Ok, slap me, but it worked out in the end, right? She got my smackers and I got one of the hottest books I have read in a long time. This book is so hot, you see other authors drooling about it.

That's how you know when a book is hot!!

The heroine is Alexandra Scott. Gorgeous, long red hair you'd probably hate her for; a tight little body you'd probably hate her for; and perfect tits you'd definitely hate her for. On top of that, she's clever, witty, and fiery. All the things I'm not, but wish I were. This is key to being my kind of heroine, so as you might have already guessed, Alexandra made my cool list pretty quickly.

The story starts out with Her Hottness leaving work. She's recently moved to Prague (that's in the heart of Europe, in case you failed geography) and is still getting her bearings on the city. During a tram delay, she's forced to find another way home. On her way down some steps, she stumbles.

And that little misstep changes everything!!

Enter Lucius Sinclair. Tall. Black hair. Blue eyes. Big hands, strong arms, nice cock. Need I continue? Thought not! But I'll toss you a little icing: he's also filthy rich. Yeah, baby. Santa needs to bring me one of those.

Now, don't go thinking Lucius is a madman just because he abducts our Alexandra. What? That's not a spoiler. This is advertised as a capture fantasy, for cripes sake! If you can't add those numbers together, you should get a math tutor...

Like I was saying. Don't go thinking Lucius is a madman. Sure, he's a little, um, different. But hey, you'd have to be, to have the balls to kidnap someone. So cut the man some slack. Besides, your panties will be so wet you won't care how she ends up with him, so long as she stays.

Lots of sex? There is. And it's GOOD sex. And it lasts. It's not just a few paragraphs. There is foreplay galore. Actually, I think it's Ms. Snow's forte. Writing foreplay, I mean. By the time they get to the deed, you'll be in dire need of a cigarette. Even if you don't smoke!

Now, don't go thinking it's JUST sex. There's a good deal of drama too. It is a story, after all. A well-written one that even has a surprise twist at the end. I say surprise, because, I did not see it coming. And I see everything coming!

The secondary characters are very lifelike, too. They aren't just taking up space, like so many of them seem to do. They are living, breathing individuals, just like the hero and heroine. Lots of depth in this one, folks. The best example being the internal struggle Alexandra battles with throughout the story. Should she be enjoying this? Her mind says no, but her body doesn't really seem to care.

I've read many a capture fantasy in my day. Lots of them come off like rape. Yuck. And spare me the 'she really wanted it, so it's ok'. Rape is never ok, and don't insult my intelligence by suggesting it, just because you can't write a good capture fantasy.

Isabella Snow's The Claiming of Kitten is the first capture fantasy I've read that actually warmed my blood AND my heart. And that is really saying something. I read it from start to finish in one sitting. That is also really saying something.

For those wary of the BDSM label, I would say ignore your inner prude and go for it. Read this story. There isn't any pain in this book as far as I could tell. Emotional angst, on occasion, but we all get off on that from time to time, don't we? I know I do.

What's more, Isabella has also released Kitten's Reward, the short follow-up to The Claiming of Kitten. So when you're done reading the original, you can run out and see what happened next. Pretty cool, IMHO. It's not every day you get to see how the HEE turned out.

Bambi Says: Five Stars!

Yahooooo!

First, a big fat thank you to Miss Isabella Snow, for making this purrrrrty blog!

Second, a brief introduction: I've been a bloglurker for the past five or six months. I'm a big fan of dirty books and found the blogosphere through some author's websites, actually. I've been reading naughtiness since elementary school, just like the rest of you perverts, lol.

So I figure why not join the blog world and share my thoughts on what I'm reading/what I've read? I'm not quite as vicious as some of the snarkies out there - but if a book sucks eggs, someone ought to say so. If I spend 6 smackers and 2 hours on a novel, I figure I should at least get to tell someone how I feel about it!

A little about me? Ok. I'm 20-ish, short-ish, mostly literate and unconditionally retentive. I also bore easily. In other words, I end up skimming most books, because the plot isn't tidy enough. Or the sex isn't sexy enough. Or whatever. You get the idea.

Can your book hold my interest? If it does, I'll be sure and tell everyone I know. But don't send me your book unless you're confident it rocks, because, if it it doesn't, I'll be sure and tell everyone I know.

My fave genre is historical, the bigger the better. Next in line, contemporary. I'll read almost anything, but I freely admit I am not keen on shapeshifter type things. The animal element creeps me out, sorry. Lesbian stories are welcome, too, as well as menage F/M/F.

Like I said, I'll read almost anything, don't take that short list to mean that something is expressly excluded. If you write shapeshifter stuff well, I might even read that. At the moment, I am reading Isabella Snow's Kitten's Reward, the follow-up to The Claiming of Kitten. Reviews for both will be posted later this week.

(Come on, look at this gorgeous blog, how could I start with anyone else?!)

-Bambi-

My Rating System

I spent a good 3 minutes trying to come up with a catchy rating system. By 3 min and 30 secs, I realized I'm just not that clever. Nor am I that bored! So this is how it's going to work. Books are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars.

Original, I know.


5 Stars : This book was so hot I intend to stalk the author until they release another one!

4 Stars : This book was pretty hot - hotter than most, for sure. I will likely read the author's following release.

3 Stars : This book was alright. At least, I think it was. Lost my attention several times and I skipped to the good parts as often as possible.

2 Stars : This book was not very good. In fact, it was pretty poo poo. Still, I managed to finish it.

1 Star : This book couldn't get a river wet.

-Bambi-